Does hot pink make me look pale?

Some people smoke, eat, collect cats. I tan. Who doesn’t want to escape for fifteen minutes and pretend they are on a secluded island basking in UV glory.



Addictions come and go but not this one; this one has stuck around and isn’t planning on going anywhere anytime soon. With the dark clouds outside and the rain pummeling the rooftops, getting out and finding sunshine can be difficult at times. I have fully embraced the high powered UV exposures and never take that lighted box of bulbs for granted.

Signs pointing in the direction of an addiction

Sign #1: Denial
I know it’s unhealthy for your skin and I should go with self-tanners but my skin is sensitive. I’ll break out. The high exposure to the light will zap any pesky critters out of the way. Sensitivity be gone.

Sign #2: Rearranging Schedules
Cancelling a dinner date and replacing that time with a tanning session. But it was a really rough day at work and time for meditation was beckoning….repeat Sign #1

Sign #3: Orange is the new Black
You have freshly become part of the rainbow and can't even see it. That and neon colored tanks you thought were given to goodwill, turn up at the bottom of your drawers.


I am not a heavy drinker, but with a drink in hand it is not uncommon to make decisions you normally would never do. Like a truth serum, cocktails can be a serious pusher.

Gathered with a bunch of friends with drinks flowing, stories getting tossed on the floor like an epic date with Twister a woman came into the room without any of us knowing or expecting a thing. This woman has her own spray tanning studio and came to spend an evening with us so we could all get golden and sunkissed faster than you can say bronz-o-licious.

No Thank You. My first thoughts were just this. There was no way, no how I was going to have chemicals sprayed on only my face. I’m not against the spray tans but it just isn’t for me, I tend to lean towards a more natural approach (and yet eating my words as we’re on the subject of tanning beds), but for the most part it’s holistic and natural practicing on this end of the court.

Drink in hand, multiple friends shouting it was a must do. I have to admit, getting sprayed by a vacuum was quite intriguing and piqued my interests. This solely in thanks to the pusher of the evening: Rum, Lemonade and Prosecco. So at the helm of peer pressure I found myself being taken away into an indoor tented adventure that smelled of coconuts and a cool chemical imbalanced breeze.

I walked into a tent as the wintery pale and normal me only to walk out looking like a leather-faced woman who looks as if she fell asleep on the beach for 53 years and 22 hours.

My face is a hot mess. A bronzed and almost dirty looking hot mess. Sign #3.

But it smelled good for 6 hours, will last a week and was free.

Interviews a go go this week and as the latest fashion accessory on the market, I’m sporting an unnatural tan. This is so typical and I’m curious how everyone else managing their tans. Bless it. It’s safe to say that I will be sticking to the warmth of the UV bulbs and natural sunlight for future tans.

And so here I sit. Sipping coffee with sunkissed cheeks while filling out applications for the next overly tanned and ridiculously scandalous reality television series.