Booty Boudoir

Okay now that the fat man pants have been restored back in the dresser let’s get back into serious business.

As in pinup spectacular, exposed flesh, every man (and woman’s) fantasy in photographic form.

Bow chicka…que the porn music because it just got about 40 degrees warmer in this joint.



Don’t hide your blush, it’s alright! I was thinking the same thing otherwise why would have it been written?

My friend is getting married in less than four months and as part of her photographer’s package there was a side deal of a possible boudoir spread. How much do you love this? In my opinion, it is a must for serious relationships and gifts for a new bridegroom. Or a random treat for that special someone who never saw it coming. Hello, yup we saw that one coming.

This friend, you would never expect this of a special education school teacher. Her fiancé has no clue of what’s in store. I wouldn't even think she would actually go forward and do this but when she asked if I would come with her (with champagne and valium in tow-don’t worry) I instinctively pulled out pom poms (they’re always around) and cheered…

Give me a Y…..Give me an E….Give me an S…What does that spell…

Y-E-S!!!

Here is something that your closest girlfriend, sister and definitely your mom won’t say (unless your Mom is like mine. The lady is completely liberal and used to own a sex shop…we’re Cali through and through!) No matter what our crazy eyes tell us…we are sexy ladies. WE ARE.

Put yourself in a matching getup and you are golden. Put yourself in a matching set, throw on some thigh highs and stilettos and you have just sealed the deal. Niagra Falls has already sprouted a leak. Now add a photographer and steal those precious moments of feeling at your very best and then gift that out.

That is what she is doing. Her fiance’s birthday is literally days before their wedding. She is getting these sexy photos and then going to surprise him in their new home with them. Decked out in the lingerie that she will be wearing in the exact pictures.

Does that not spell hotness with a capital H? Dammit I need to find a man or a minute man.

I almost think that I am more excited for her hence the champagne and hourly rate for our prized prince valium!

I love how this addition is becoming more common for photographers especially for upcoming nuptials. One of my closest girlfriends did this for her now husband right before they got married. Yowza, the pictures were smokin’ hot. I’m saying this because I was a chief contributor to what got picked. I’m single so everyone automatically picks me as the eyes to be. What is a girl to do, and hold the phone. Where is my discount?

Think about how good you feel in slinky lingerie, how good you feel when your man (or lady-we’re pc over in this corner) buys your luscious duds. You feel amazing and always wish there was a camera around to capture that moment. Well now there is and it’s not frowned upon.

I’m not saying go out and start taking random photos because lord knows that can be a serious dilemma. Youtube is a terrible frienemy (text sexages-don’t even get me started) for mobile videos. Not fun. But I will admit that when we feel good we look good and why not capture that feeling of absolute appeal that your significant other tends to always see and you always see in them.

So I’m off. To bed first but then an early morning wakeup call that will feel like TopModel. Champagne and Prosecco ready. My friend is coming round early to spruce her hair up in the porn wall mirror (the wall of shame in my front room…lord it really is a wall of tacky reflected shame) and then is lucky to have a professional makeup artist make her rumpled and bedroom ready! God bless knowing a professional model and having her contacts.

So with that. It’s Monday are you ready for the week. More importantly get your booty set for a little sugar n' spice...and everything not so nice!