A splash of ass and bit of sass

With spring right around the corner, you can almost smell it in the air. That shift in pressure, the soil softening…the trees budding for new growth. To say that fall and winter were dull, would be an understatement. There have been get togethers, wine nights, shopping excursions, dates and detoxes, trips to unknown cities and a little bit of writing in between. That time fell together into a slight blur, but a miniature and very powerful message behind everything got forgotten.

A little bit of sass and a fresh dab of lip gloss needed to be taken out on the town. In more ways than one. No, that’s not just in terms of men. I’d like to think that, at this point, I’m living a free life and whatever happens--happens. Not just men at all. Hibernation mode fully kicked in this year; something that generally creeps up and finds a wonderful perch somewhere from October through January. Rather than ice skating around a park in the city, I sat bar-side sipping martinis with friends in town. Shopping in the city for flowers was turned to a local merchant around the corner from work. The all too familiar outgoing and go-to mentality was lessened and quieted.

Admitting this need to get out and blame only being cooped up would be a false statement. After trying to get over someone, we all do this. Vent to our friends, delete every message and every number. Cry our eyes out, avoid food because it took too much effort to eat, and then go out. We take an extra hour to get ready, blasting club hits while drinking bubbly champagne. Slap on the all too high heels that make us wobble, but make our legs look damn good. We go out, to get out. To get out and get back to feeling like our confident selves. Or maybe that’s just me.

Several friends were away for a weekend, or busy with their families. I figured, there was a rut and I needed to get out of it. So I dipped into the closet and looked at the oh-so-typical dresses to wear, and stumbled on something I forgot was even hanging in the sea of fabric. A knitted dress that had been purchased to wear--if and when I needed a splash of sass. Always thinking proactively.

That night called for more than a splash of sass; it required a wealthy vodka drink and a whole lot of tanned skin to get the job done. A job that is highly laughable now, but was needed to snap a smile in place and bring the ever present laugh back into my throat.

What started at one bar and a simple drink, turned into a full night out of networking and letting loose. At the first bar, a bartender and I talked about his girlfriend and my manly woes. Out of nowhere, or maybe it was the liquid haze, I bit the bullet and went to another place and that’s when it all happened. Put me next to someone, we will talk. It’s a given. Every wallflower must sing at some point in their lifetime. Fortunately, I am not a wallflower and just sing. In this case, talk to a group of people who are within a given industry that I am pursuing.

Random happening or magnetic pull? Nobody will ever know, nor do I want to analyze it. Turned out that one of the many groups I ended up talking with, in between sipping sparkling champagne, was indeed part of a marketing firm. For a local magazine. I had been sitting at the bar and overheard publishing and honed in. Awful, terrible; but in all seriousness who does not eaves drop? I turned and introduced myself casually, not mentioning anything about writing. I was merely someone meeting a group at a bar. After an hour of talking, we ended up chatting about writing, publishing, marketing; the works. By bar close, one of the men I had been talking to walked me out to my car several blocks away. He was sweet and nice, it was late.

As I drove home and the next morning, and even now I still shake my head at things. All it took was a snappy dress and a shift in my mind to get back to me and where does that lead? To writing. Here I thought that night was going to be a confidence booster over fully letting go of a guy, but it was so much more than that. It was a confidence booster in following exactly what everyone including a psychic has been saying for months and I have been shying away for unknown reasons.

We can run and hide from things for a short while, but in the end—everything always comes back to us. For this, it took an unexpected night out to restore that missed feeling. So with that, I am working on getting back into the swing of this blog that is way out of touch. It is a place where I can free-write the whatever (s) of a day or week. I’m wrapping a short story for a website and finalizing a publishing deal that isn’t much, but it is something.

I have started writing and publishing on the ups and downs of relationships, the single life of a thirty-something. God knows I’ve experienced enough of this, but will keep experiencing it because it’s life. Who knew all it took was stepping out and flashing a little ass to admit things are okay where they are and go with it. Documenting it all along the way.

So it's another round, only this one should be leading in a fun direction; and to that I say...I am ready, are you?

Cheers

When a conversation changes everything

There are few times when you can walk away from a chance meeting with someone and feel that while words were spoken and thoughts verbalized a door had been opened and you were exposed to everything that had eluded you for so long.

Walking along the streets last night with a group of people, this group that feel universal from this lifetime and the previous, I wound up staggering behind for a few minutes.

Taking in the antibiotics…and feeling the lethargy and that terrible swelling (that could have been from the stilettos!)

The true beauty of stone architecture that crafted several buildings along Michigan Avenue

The chilly night winds blanketed with a hint of the first warmth of spring

..and of course the conversation that changed everything.

While crossing multiple city blocks in search of a restaurant I fell into step with a designer’s husband and am without words this morning to the amount of gratitude this man has bestowed upon. Our conversation began as simple banter about nationalities and ancestral history and wound up to astrological history fueled by hearty laughter and an invitation for wanting more conversations.

As one restaurant to the next had waiting lists longer than the Superbowl ticket hubs I found myself captivated by this man and his story of creating something out of nothing but passion and living a life he once thought was the life to live. Only to have it all change in a single second. The chill of the night didn’t even pass through my sweater as he was telling me about how he and his wife met and the fact that their love is so apparent it could never be questioned. Compassion radiated from his eyes, vibrated from his voice and brought tears to my eyes.

Ambition filled his days and kept his purse padded, he swore against certain parts of life that others embarked on and he struggled or thought was needed. Ultimately he was living a life that was great but like using half of our brain, it was only half. It wasn’t until a chance encounter happened with him did his door open and a lifetime of chances and opportunities he never expected nor dreamed could happen, has happened and continues to happen on a general basis.

Always there for other people regardless of circumstances, I am the last person to ask for help, and will fight until the bitter end to make something work. For months I have secretly been asking for help, for guidance, for something to help ease this engrained fear that is inappropriately out of place. Yesterday and especially last night was everything anyone could ever ask for in terms of a personal present.

Having the opportunity on that stretch of pavement makes everything worth seem worth it. The moves, the juggles, the battles and the struggles. Knowing the group, and now this amazing couple, there is a tranquil pull deep inside that I am beginning to understand that they possess. Something that I posses as well and what has drawn me to them and them to me.

Accomplishments conquer the obstacles because had they not, this would not be a clear day. Last night would not have meant the same thing and everything would still be wrapped tightly in a grey cloud. Today there is new meaning, and that has been said before but it was said under a blind eye. Last night, just taking in everything from a phone call driving into the city, walking with the designer’s husband to dinner with friends had a purpose. There is peace with where today is and that is pretty wonderful.

When a dirty martini becomes an invite into the carpool

Days have gone by in a massive whirlwind that almost feels like a tornado swept through, swirled around in my flat(causing unnecessary gnats in my already unruly hair) and brushed out. Only there’s still a few high powered winds that seem to want to stick around.

How often do you find yourself sitting in front of a live show. How often do you know someone who the show is based on. And then the ever elusive, how often do you stay up late on a school night god knowing that IBprofen is going to be your best friend in the morning.

Hang over hot mess.

The show was a major success, several of us headed into the city to watch the live syndication and it couldn’t have been more excited. You almost half expected Bob Barker to pop through the silver velvet drapes and present his overly tanned self to the crowd.

In serious need to celebrate, we headed out to a bar down the street and dominated a corner. And by dominated I mean we dominated their vodka supply.

Extra dirty martinis a go go. It was absolute bliss. With the music blaring, excitement pumping we settled on the one thing that can make you forget you were ever hungry. A dirty martini. But I thought that excessive drinking causes the munchies you ask? Oh no, the olives cure those pesky hunger pangs.

While I was finally getting a chance to talk to some friends I hadn’t talked to all night, I got the firm tap on the shoulder. That tap on the shoulder that when you turn to look and see what is going on, you know you should have just ignored it.

Let’s rewind this just a tad. I had all intentions of driving into the city by myself only because I know how I am with going out and am always there to offer rides but am never the first to leave. Try close to the last or somewhere in the middle. I chat, let loose and have fun.

I rode in with a group. Everyone in the group had to work the next day. Now mind you, there are some times when you go out and think good god when did 9pm feel like 2AM?

And vice versa.

But not this night. I had wanted to celebrate with everyone because we had all been talking about it for weeks on end. Because it was going to be outrageously exciting, because this group is outrageously exciting.

I turned and saw the faces of my group and knew, this girl, pointing in the direction of my own chest would be going home with them.

We left early, I was completely beside myself that they didn’t want to stay and celebrate. We had just gotten everyone together and were already slipping out for the night. Royal bummer. Over the weekend I stopped into my friend’s shop to see how she was and how everything turned out and got the whole rundown.

And a big fat holler that I missed everything.

What was meant to be was meant to be, the ride out was pretty fun. There’s another taping this week and it falls on the wretched day that I’d love to forget and a bunch of us are heading back into the city for it. Because of the day it falls on, I requested a triple dirty martini and a date was in order. I’m getting a handful of dates, we’ll see how strong the drink is then.

I’ve recuperated somewhat from this weekend, the rest is a whole other animal of a post that will take more than a few glasses of wine and antibiotics to pump out...

But until then, if you didn’t already catch my last post about not so shameless plugging. I’m up to schenanigans again. Here’s a glimpse of what I got to see on Thursday for my friend’s taping. Its up on Youtube and streaming live via Facebook at 9am CST this morning while she gives out this week’s assignment/competition.



Happy Tuesday

Or Knot

Some things take your breath away while others just bring out the smile that you have been keeping hidden under some chapstick and a warm scarf.

In a hazy day that was nothing short of Prosecco, high spending and a lot of mixing up a wardrobe; my friend displayed a brand new collection of ties that are perfect for any honey. And what perfect timing than having Valentine’s Day seriously right around the corner. Though I am not a big person in feeling obligated to over indulge with Hallmark and Victoria Secret for this particular holiday simply because it’s “Valentine’s Day.” Any other day to get a gift from Victoria Secret is a-okay by me!

However, for this one I definitely would recommend this last minute gift idea simply because it’s pretty outrageous, worthy of a good laugh and definitely welcome in any bedroom. Va-va-voom.

It's time to introduce Lee Allison, the makers of men’s high fashion. A serious gem to any man’s wardrobe. Fashion or not, it is the little innuendo hidden inside of the silky material that can make a tie worthy to fit into any tie rack.

Repeat that one: Worthy to fit into Any.Tie.Rack.

There are two messages on the inside of the tie one at the bottom: Remove before sex. And one at the top where the knot connects together: Or knot.

How delightfully naughty!

While the majority of spending time in a store is devoted to helping people, there can be some downtime and of course I noticed the ties. Simply because out of a very feminine store, right at the entrance is a classic oak dresser that screams “Mad Men…Ad Man” with ties and other manly accessories including hats and leather gloves scattered about the top. It stood out and like any other looky loo, you will stop to take a gander.

I had seen the facebook updates and knew there were little messages but honestly had no clue that they would be hidden in just the right spot for someone to pull the tie off…or knot!



How would you ever notice this little confection? Lord knows after spending one too many times wandering the men’s aisles in Macy’s trying to pick out ties for previous boyfriends and guy friends you become familiar with the silky material but still. I can honestly say that this is NOT my favorite thing to purchase because men can be picky when it comes to dressing up the frontal views.

However, after seeing Lee Allison ties it is safe to say that it would be easy to muster up enough energy to pick out a snazzy little number to line up a man’s neckline.

Which of course, this got me thinking about neck ties and how long it took to figure out how to actually get the knot down pat. Growing up my Dad managed his own ties, god forbid anyone else got the idea of helping him. What a crazy man. Boyfriends, well this was in college and afterwards.

In high school…oh this is a period for serious shame and where the education was introduced: Tying a Knot 101. How many 'school daze' parties did you go to? Me-don’t ask because I have a lapse in memory from back in the day but I walked away becoming a pro at it.

Knowing this, there are quite a few different ways in tying a knot. Who knew right. The most referred to and very classic: four in hand knot, The Windsor knot and the Half Windsor. All equally simple and end with the same result. A snazzy looking knot at a man’s neck that is easy to pull apart.

Does tying a knot still make your teeth clench or are you a master pro at it? More importantly, do you enjoy hunting in the tie racks at a department store or do you actively seek out the employees for color assistance.

A little refresher on how to pull together a tie, because as a woman(speaking from personal experience), we are the go to to do this because our man likes to see us adding a little touch to his get-up.



PS….Lee Allison is Chicago based and has retailers all over the US and Canada. You can also purchase their lovelies online because these are pretty much the badass tie your man needs to have! Hello lover.

A Silver Couch, Chocolate Chip Meringues And An Idea

There are days where you want to stay inside, curl up in your zebra printed snuggie and then there are days where you want to bust loose out of the house because cabin fever has taken its hold of you.

It’s cold. Freezing cold. And while I love nothing better than to go out for long walks, when the wind chill is a biting negative something a-rother I shy away and head for the treadmill. Or lets face it. The couch.

The other day, in desperate need to get out I stumbled into my friend’s boutique and spent hours getting lost in the mass sea of clothing, the lovely smells of scented oils and good ol’ fashioned chatter.

We got to talking and a bunch of others came in and joined us while we sat on her silver couch munching on chocolate chip meringues. Just at the point where you are comfortable and want to sprawl out, I got hit with a potential opportunity to join something very fresh and new, something innovative and necessary in times like these.

For a little bit, my friend clued me in on the fundamentals of her business prospect and asked if I would be willing to take a risk and join her on this sort of venture that sounds pretty amazing. It is dealing with the public in a formal sense where I would be writing (yes yes YES) but would need to get licensed in an area I know nothing about. Oye!

So here’s the question that gets posed and seems ridiculous to ask out loud but curiosity killed the cat.

Do you research something that is completely fresh and new or do you jump in trusting this person who has years of experience in the field (and many more) and has a year-long plan already in place?

I’ve already put off getting a masters degree one year because of the economy, is it worth it to put it off another year?

I’m all for making crazy and rash decisions..I did pack up and move far far away from everyone and anyone I have ever known..twice in two years. That and what else am I doing right now? If this gets me out networking well then what’s the problem right?

So I’m weighing my options, still sending out resumes and like buying a swimsuit this idea is brewing.

On a totally different side note. Many many thanks to both Runaway Bride at the Chronicles of an Arranged Indian Marriage and Ashley at "Delightful,yet...?" for giving lots of love to this blondie!

Ashley-I can’t wait to see how Mr. Thursday Night is! RB…you are a brave woman I would flee the country or at least my family if they ever tried to arrange anything for me! It's bad it enough when my mother will say on the phone.."but he's so clean M, you'll like him." Fail.

Until the next post….

Peaceful state of mind

Riverwalk 12/23/2010

If I had rhythm I'd sing this in lyric like Alicia Jay-Z.

I was walking along the river today after duking it out at the grocery stores, making sure all of the supplies for the festive dinner on Christmas was done. I was just starting to cross over one of the bridges when, for a few minutes I stood overlooking the water and couldn't help but just stop.

It was strange, almost like a deja vu moment where you know you've been there before but you honestly can't place it. That's what it felt like.

There's a little hub that sort of hugs the walkway and while I stood there, looking out at the frozen patches of ice floating down the stream, it got heavy emotions flaring about being thankful and appreciating life for how simple it can be.

It's a strange analogy. I know. Standing there looking like a bumbling idiot, breathing in the freezing temperatures, feeling like one of those silly kleenex commercials, but that's just what happened.

I don't know how long I stood there thinking about the little things that get your days up and going. What motivate you to keep pushing through those hurdles or obstacles that seem so detrimental one minute and laughable the next. Because at the end of the day, everything fades away and you made it so it doesn't really matter.

I guess for my few minutes of becoming a riverfront mime, it made me appreciate that life is precious and can be anything and everything that you make it. From the small things say like paying off a bill or the larger things like actually being able to hold someone close to you that you love.

Maybe I am uber sensitive with the holidays coming up, maybe not. Either way, that moment hit me like a trainwreck and I'll take it.

Batavia, IL?? I was lost!

R-E-D-H-O-T what do we got!

I guess a tiny explanation is due for this newfound fascination with hockey. When I moved to the greater mid-west I honestly had no clue the effect sports had on its people. It’s insane and everyone has a team they cheer for to the death. Within the city I grew up in, there is no such thing as serious antics, unless you go to specific universities. But really, it’s NOWHERE near the same.

The first week here football season kicked off and I wound up at a sandwich shop for lunch, it could have been transformed into a sports bar and nobody would have known. Flat screens everywhere, people not leaving their seats and the staff’s attention focused on the screens. Mind the timeout. Are you kidding me, at a sub shop?

After that first week, I had an interesting conversation with a guy while out getting coffee who gave me the lowdown on the hyped up behavior of the sport fiends. I was told that I had not experienced anything if I had not:

A. Been to a live hockey match
B. Watched a Bears or Hawks game at a bar
C. Watched a Bears game at Soldier Field in the freezing cold (no thanks!)

So we swapped numbers, good girl! First Date in Chicago and it’s over a pre-season hockey matchup of the Blackhawks, not quite what I was expecting but it worked. Was this guy a sports fanatic, um..YES. Was this a match made in heaven, NO..but he was really fun, the conversation was casual and he taught me a lot about the sport (in between his raging at a tv screen.) Needless to say, since that day I’ve started to follow some hockey teams and can now see why people are such die hards. It’s safe to say I probably won’t ever be one. But I understand. Sort of.

Apart from the highly sport influenced evening out; that night sparked something inside of me that I had been keeping at bay because I was constantly “on the move” so to speak. Dating. It has been a rough couple of years with coming and going from different places or flat out becoming a bona fide serial dater (not even going to mention Leo night.) However, I must say that the hiatus was much appreciated but it’s time to get back into the wardrobe, start trying on some new clothes and get swanky in a lovely dress that hugs those curves nicely (ladies you know what I mean by that.)

And so it begins again, the adventures in dating that has to start somewhere. And for this leg of the journey, it just so happened to begin at a sports bar. But who says it can’t end up at the Riviera.