Coffee and kegels….or did you mean creamer?

There is an unwritten rule about what women talk about when several are gathered together and how loud or quiet for that matter our voices travel. The women’s toilets are the prime location for getting gossip. It goes the same for men say in the locker rooms or on the basketball court. Ladies, you know what I’m talking about.

My friend, whom is out conquering the fashion world has asked everyone close to her for a little help with her boutique. While she’s out doing her thing, myself along with a bunch of others have been volunteering time keeping the doors open trying to channel the inner salesperson within. To sell things because that is what shops are in business for.

But in all honesty, the time basically becomes Chatty Katty time the minute a patron leaves the storefront. I love it.

Love it so much that I keep going back for seconds, thirds, fourths….

I have no Drama.

Everyone that comes in has soap opera digest worthy drama.

So to make a day that much more interesting, I’ll stick around for a few extra minutes if someone starts talking to me. Because it’s hilarious to see these people getting frustrated over something ridiculously simple. Just say no folks, it’s that simple. And stop buying the Prada(Target and NYC, we’re still having an affair don’t you worry)!

You’re in a store with a bunch of clothes.

Um, I may be blonde but I’m not stupid. Let’s introduce the word association for the day. Networking.

(Note that this is nothing on blondes either just the bland stereotype that has been branded upon us and is fully embraced)

During one of my many “shifts” if you will, I was sitting on the couch with three other women chatting it up in between customers when we got on the subject of thighs. How it got there, don’t ask because I cannot even answer this one.

Not your average change in topics from jewelry but I’ll go with it, because this is the land of crazytown and obsessive personalities and general good times.
One of the women started giving me tips on how to thin out your thighs using a yoga block, which I’d never really consider walking around my house with one in between my legs but everything deserves a shot for consideration.

While she was trying to explain holding the block in place, and while we were sipping coffee (not wine or any liquor) she said excitedly, “It’s like working your kegels!”

Come again?

Did you just say like working my kegels? Oh yes, she really did say like working the kegels.

I died right there and can only thank god that there weren’t other people in the store because I have a hearty laugh and nothing could hold it back. The other girl working didn’t even laugh, she was paying more attention to her text messages than the conversation. Clearly she has no idea about her own sexuality. What in the hell!?! One mention of anything sinful and my ears perk up. It’s horrible, you’d think I was a man!

I started laughing hysterically and while sipping the last drops of my Americano I got the full jist of losing mere inches off of the inner thighs without hours of pilates. Without inner leg lifts. Without those wretched crab kicks. But with none other than a yoga block and my damn kegel muscles.

Thanks to that conversation, instead of thinking about certain activities and fluttering muscles I’m now thinking about my damn thighs and snapping those bad boys into narrow shape.

Embarrassingly I will admit this, because this is just words of nothingness and you can't see me blushing nor I can see you busting out the checkbook to see if you can add $14 into the weekly budget.

I’m going to try it out and test her theory. I’ll walk around my house like an idiot flexing the kegels fantasizing about thinner inner thighs instead of broad shouldered men and post an update in one month. Because that is what’s up.

Kegeltastic.

Per our lovely friends at Wikipedia, there are several positive forms of kegel exercises that benefit women and men. For example:

Did you know (this is TMI but who cares) kegels can help men achieve a stronger you know what when in the heat of things and gain greater control of losing the steam. Makes sense right.

For women, this is simple. It’s to gain control of our loosened pelvic muscles due to pregnancy and childbirth, obesity and aging.

Now for both, it can be great form of re-gaining control of an overactive bladder.

Can’t hold it for another five minutes to the train stop? Start flexing those muscles and building up some stamina.

So there you have it, a little laugh and a little knowledge on this fine day.

Challenge: Week 6

Lord help a girl out, we’ve hit the halfway marker and what happens. The effing snowmageddon. Thanks Mother Nature for this buzzkill!

This week was as inconsistent as inconsistent can be. The snow alerts started getting issued on Tuesday morning with the massive snowfall that literally took over the state of Illinois and said, “we’re shutting this mother down.” I got trapped in my flat, because:

A I’m blonde and forgot to purchase a shovel
B the snow plows were in high demand and didn’t get to my development until way late. As if that mattered, you could not get anywhere. Period.

Luckily I did make it to the gym a few times this week, not the finest and certainly not the most motivated. Getting stuck in doors you find other ways to get productive: text messaging. Lovely.

So rather than doing pilates in my front room I was cleaning, baking, texting and skyping. With whom…...a lady never tells and in this case I will but give me some time first.

As soon as the roads were plowed I was in it to gym it. This next week marks the latter part of the challenge and the real marker for getting down and getting to business. SAD does not exist anymore, hopefully there will not be any more snow advisories like this past week. It’s all about making the most of the next six weeks.

For the food: I openly admit that until I get pregnant or decide AA is the way forward, I will not give up wine. I am making friends, going out to socials, nights out, dates, etc. Passing up on wine or a cocktail was getting beyond difficult. So I’m going to work this one in but work out just as hard so it’s not damaging to the challenge.

For strength: Oye, this week blew hard. I was more focused on getting in serious cardio time when I actually made it into the gym. The need to feel the sweat trickling down seemed more satisfying for some unknown reason. However there is an abdomen bar that is prime for working the core muscles. You will feel the zing of hard work for the entire week in twenty reps. Thank you!

Favorite Exercises
You read right: this bad boy made the times I made it into the gym worthwhile. Yowza the burn in my tummy feels fantastic.



Lesson Learned
Mother Nature is a serious bitch with a massive grudge. Hard work pays off, there is no need to feel guilt if you are unable to make it into the gym as much or for as long of time inside as you would like. Take pride in the times that you step back and acknowledge your health and vitality. If the clouds close down, take it as a sign that a break is okay for right now and when the skies clear up, get back into the saddle.

Challenge: Week 4-Measurements

Knowing that measurements were “due” by the weekend, I made an extra effort in pushing that much harder this week to get the fullest endorphin rush. Adding a few more minutes during cardio when intensity levels were booming, adding an extra set for the core conditioning and of course finding love with yoga and pilates to calm things down and stay in a relaxed frame of mind.

With all of this activity, I feel the confidence in my shaping body which is only building motivation to keep getting into the workouts each day. And so for the first section of the Challenge it is time for the report card.

….and the results for the first four weeks are…


Three words to describe this moment: Shocked, Elated and Excited

For the past four weeks I have been making myself accountable for everything that goes into my body and how I counteract and fight this massive battle with the bulge. It has been a constant fight to maintain a sort of zone-like mentality that is motivated and focused to a degree but not to the point of over doing exercises.

I knew that my mid-section was down, I have noticed the indent curving in (praise jesus!!!) above my hips. It’s natural, it is beautiful. It is an ass kicker and I know what I have to do to make that indent slope even further and the work that is going to be put into it to make it happen.

This is only the fourth week, there’s still eight to go. The results are wonderful and I will continue to use this excitement and push it into next week’s workout. I did not take that mission statement lightly and while yes the challenge is transforming my body in the physical form, it’s also a journey through strength, will and reclaiming my sense of being.

A rich way of reaching an unflappable happiness that vibrates deep within and radiates outward.

For cardio: I fluxuated between the treadmill splits and spinning. With all of the strength conditioning my knee was feeling confident enough to hold up to the increased levels and a few classes that I partook in.

For strength: It was back to bootcamp and interval training. Circuits really are my method of choice because it is fast paced and you are constantly in motion. There is never time to get bored and when and if you do, you are moving on to the next set.

For food: It is that time of the month where I am beginning to crave foods, damn mother nature. I picked up some chocolate pudding mix and tried to ease the raging sweet tooth that screamed all week long which seemed to work. It’s low-cal and muy delicioso. The rest of the week was routine and planned out. Chicken has worked itself back into the refridge and has a permanent home there.

I actually think that this week I may partake in a cleanser of sorts to remove any toxins that may still be rummaging their way through out my body. I was reading a book about cleansing your mind, body and soul this week and think now is as good of time as any to rid this body of anything negative.

On a side note, I was in one of the many interviews this week and one of the receptionists complimented me on my physique. This is not something I am bragging about nor gloating because I am not that type of person but it was an odd compliment.

It wasn’t the most expected compliment received this week that is for sure, and I know she meant well by it and I need to take it positively but it struck a chord. She had said that my body looked great and asked if I was training for a competition.

At first I was mortified because A. I want to slenderize (which as per the results I am) and B. Do not want to look like I am a muscle bender. Which as per the results, my boobs are shrinking and my arms and thighs not so much. (Le Sigh)

And it is in this moment that can cause self sabotage. She said a compliment and that is exactly what I will and did accept. I may not have the body of a supermodel, an upper crust socialite or beach beauty but this is me.

I am thankful first and foremost for being alive, having a body that is functioning on healthy levels and love every single ounce inside and out.

Because THIS is ME.
Favorite Exercises this Week

Lesson Learned this week
It is through belief that you can achieve. Take a deep breath and remember to love your body, love your life and most importantly love the knowledge that you can.