Carnage and a dream job

The other night a friend went on a text sending spree that was filled with pictures and food for thought while she was watching a bunch of hardcore ladies take the skating rink in a major bloodbath. The team. The Trampires. The concept apart from skating around a rink is yet to be understood.



Our texting conversation was ridiculous and went like this, her texts are bold mine are italic.

These bitches are badass. In my past life I was THE roller derby queen
Are they growling?
Hell no they’re screaming! I’m going to a garage sale next week. I need skates now.
Oh no go to a skating rink and get a used pair. They’ll stink and you could get the penned name Red StankOnYa
Do you think they would let me into their chain gang? One is pretty small but she’s good.
How good? Could you take her?
I could totally take her but I’d be afraid she’ll come back and whip me
I have no idea what that means but I’m guessing she’s a mean bitch.
Really mean, do you really think I could do it?
YES stop asking me, go fill out an application that is probably on the inside of their skates.

These texts went on until I think she forgot what a telephone was and got hooked on the skating carnage. The truth behind this is that she really could be a roller derby girl. I can vouch for this, she’s got the mouth of a trucker and has zero patience for stupidity or anyone who disagrees. Which is pretty much everyone.

Whether being a Lead Jammer appeals to you as your dream job, these outrageous texts were hilarious and made me think about some of the random ‘dream jobs’ I have had throughout the years.

Professional Taste Tester


Pinkberry takes this by a landslide. My biggest fear would be tasting something that is absolutely disgusting and reminds you of poo. Gross. Best thing that could come out of this, finding gold for your palette. I have a friend who is a food scientist and tests certain acidic levels in food. How interesting would that be.

Professional Makeup Artist


Seeing as I can hardly apply makeup properly on my own face now, I am so thankful this was not the chosen profession! Plus I’d make someone look like a tranny mess.

Professional Carnival Folk


Carnies. Good GOD. I just put this one out for laughs. Seriously, clowns terrify me. I have not been to a circus since I was a wee child and will never ever take my own children to them because of this intense fear. Traveling carnival folk-yeah not so much. I’m sure they’re nice as pie with bearded ladies and crazy tents of terror but this gal is saying Nay as being a dream job.

Really and truly my dream job was to become a Primary School Educator between third and sixth grade, I started studying for it only to pull another ‘blonde moment’ and switch majors to the arts. Strangely I’m working at getting back into university so a dream really can come true in due time.

These are mine, they’re not as glamorous as a Chicken Sexer (they determine the sex of chicken eggs), Diaper Scent Sniffer (they’re clean diapers!) or a Roller Derby Diva but they just are.

Did you have a job that you dreamt about day and night that would have been perfect for you?

*Wink* I think you’re kinda cute, want to get some coffee?

Tonight is date night with Romeo # 994, and marks the second date since getting started on this friendture. Romeo #995-yowza he was sleaze to the heaping core! Sex please, ugh not after one date where there was very little active conversations.

While I was putting together the playlist for this week, I had been instant messaging with a Romeo #994, which lets back this up.

Instant Messaging or IMing can go two ways. Genuine or full on cyber porn. That’s fine and well, but for the love of god man(and this goes out to one individual only), when I’ve denied you three times in one day and then several more times days later take the hint! I’m not down to getting a little loving from you, find another cyber girlfriend.

Romeo #994, he’s an alright guy through the emails. Over the weekend we exchanged numbers and talked on the phone briefly. Despite not being a phone person, I like to at least know how the other person is going to sound. It needs to be more personal than emails. His voice, is deep and he has a rich laugh.

Our conversation lasted for longer than the typical. I am intrigued by Romeo #994 and am curious how tonight is going to go.

I’m not overanalyzing anything or getting hyped by this but it’s nice to be sitting here at home knowing that I am getting out on a school night. For coffee and a walk in the snow. To meet a boy.

I’m off to slink my body into the bath and get some relaxation in and god willing am putting that playlist on while I get ready. Who needs the gym when you’ve got fun music and enough space to dance around in your house!

Guilty pleasures, secret obsessions, and a trolley ride?

We’ve heard the sayings that times are rough. When times are rough, why does it seem natural to turn to your guilty pleasures for a little release?

In this case it’s shopping (mainly because Hoarders is free and soooo addicting and a certain man is unobtainable yet still sinful to the eyes).

A month ago I stumbled into a hip and funky boutique that has an owner to die for and has offerings that would feed any secret obsession. She’s brilliant with fashion and loves nothing more than to style her customers. Thank you.

The first time I stepped foot inside I walked out with the cutest fingerless gloves and an invite to a ladies night out.

The party was fun and opened the playing field for having conversations with people I’d never even think to have had them with and also got the excitement started in finally beginning to connect with new people.

A couple of weeks ago, the same owner (now friend) text me and invited me out for a trolley ride through town with a bunch of other ladies to get the holiday spirit going….with a start at the store. Uh oh.

Enter guilty pleasures and secret obsessions. The minute I walked into the shop several ladies were getting spruced and styled prior to hopping on the trolley (a glorified and very suburban party bus). It was basically like being with a bunch of girlfriends getting ready to go out. Gossip, drinks and dressing up. A complete riot.

I love this, where you can get the advice of people around you to openly and honestly tell you if you look frumpy, need a belt or simply tell you that a sweater is flat out not gonna work.

Today. A day later. Nursing a hangover from the Prosecco I headed back to the shop to snag up some sequined leggings that I put aside and give many thanks for the trolley ride that made it through the snowstorm, I got sucked into the style mode.

Is there such a thing as will power, yes I think there is but when you are surrounded by serious temptation and a group of people either supporting or encouraging you on a new look you are bound for trouble. But a wonderful addition to your wardrobe nonetheless.

So was anything learned from this or am I just rambling? Definitely rambling but learned this: make friends with an owner of a boutique. It’s one of the finer things to know someone who owns and designs their own clothing line. It’s also another thing to listen to the back burned voice that is screaming “Remember your budget” but at the same time remember to treat yourself when you feel you may need it.

Now on a serious note. Apart from the rare side of consumerism (because honestly on most days, you’d find me in leggings and an old sweater)you really never know how and when you meet people and how they can open you up to endless possibilities. Whether it involves guilty pleasures or not.

Outfit update: Sequined leggings (now not so secret obsession)
Full length black slip
Black lace sweater
Body tank

Courtesy of Google Images

Can we say trouble!

Around Town

A few words of encouragement can go for miles in reaching people you didn’t even know were listening.

Last night was the cookie exchange and it was nothing short of exciting, fun and completely heartwarming.

I set up an event through a social network, started threads for people in the area expressing my interest and excitement in all hopes of getting others involved. Mainly because I wanted to bake, but really it was to get others who loved to bake, to actually do it and see if we could all meet up. An impromptu meetup so to speak.

For an entire month, I dusted off the pom poms and started cheering people on to see how many I could get involved. This is what blows my mind.

Timout Chicago, a citywide paper/website that promotes events happening around the city heard my voice. They published my event in their newsletter and then also on their website!! I knew that the original network I organized the event through had published it as well, but to see an outside organization pay attention to this little event really hit me, and made me feel a huge ounce of pride.

Everyone came that had signed up, people from Timeout showed up not knowing anyone and we all started conversations and laughing over anything and everything. At the helm of a cookie.

This is what I love about people, it doesn’t matter who you are, what you do or where you come from. There is always something that will eventually bring us all together into this crazy melting pot that is life.

After a hugely successful exchange, I walked away with an appreciation for those who made it out and for myself.

It sounds selfish but it’s really not. Every single person who came, came up to me and kept telling me that they were so thankful that the event actually happened and we all were able to make it out.

Do I smell a future in PR, that's probably the aroma of the cookies so I am not counting on it. You never know how you affect someone, the smallest words of encouragement or even a glint of excitement can hit someone without you even knowing it.

I will say that going through last night made me realize that I like who I am as a person, that I went into the exchange not knowing anyone and walked away with future dinner partners, conversations with a food scientist and got the plans of two girls who (luck would have it) are getting married on the same day, in the same year!

What an incredible way to wrap up a year.

From my kitchen to yours, love what you do, show excitement and the world opens up to you!

C is for cookie, it's good enough for me; oh cookie cookie cookie starts with C~ Cookie Monster

Who doesn’t like to munch on a little sugary biddy that fills your stomach with glee and turns your kitchen into a workshop? So to pay tribute to the baked goodness and the holiday season, this weekend I am hosting a cookie exchange and absolutely cannot wait!

Typically, I’d be excited on a completely different level. The event was pieced together through a social network so I don’t know a soul that is going. But we’ve all been messaging back and forth and everyone is dead set on coming.

Apart from not knowing anyone, there could be quite a bunch of people that turn up (up to 40 + which is still not fully confirmed and I’m trying my hardest not be edgy about it) and of course the entertaining aspect is great. This week the exchange was even featured in a weekly newsletter! I was like a proud mama hen, watching over this little exchange that could.

There is a bar in the city that during the holidays is a hot spot for serving Glogg (mulled wine)which have been nice enough to let us takee reign. Utter geekness, getting excited about turning into domestic goddesses and lordships (no way am I calling the guys a God unless they bake an almond cake with a chocolate ganache glaze just for me!) to have gotten this thing off of the ground.

Hosting a party….yes please! There is a little sadness with it since this type of exchange is taking place at a bar. Not to say the least that I’m not super excited for the mulled wine and tons of people who will show up because I totally am….but….there are several people that have children and it would have been nice to have been able to include their munchkins and do something like a cookie decorating section just for them. Maybe next year.

So X marks the spot, and my kitchenaid is going to get used to its utmost powers starting tomorrow. For the cookies, because several people are seriously bringing their baking side out hardcore, I am going to be making three different types.

-Gingerbread Snowflake Sammies with Lemon Meringue filling (the ever faithful recipe!)
-Guy Fieri’s Crazy Oatmeal Cookies
-Rugelach or Baklava (I’m still torn)

I love the holidays for these reasons, memories, sharing and good company! And TONS of cookies!

Of course the cheering antics are back: Game Night at the Saddledome. Please keep this streak alive! Hardwork and determination pays off but keep it going! Go Flames Go!