Can I get an amen?

Unlike listening to some random psychic telephone scam for reasons called too much time on one’s hands, the ears are beginning to open up to these tarot readings that seem to be at my door.

{Courtesy of Google}

Is the third time really a charm? I am beginning to think so. The top three rankers for things we all want to know about: Love. Career. Health. Talk about a no brainer.

Round One
Oh so vague, I tackled this a ways back (Remembering to Grab Hold...), I shuffled the cards thinking about relationship possibilities and where I stood (spinster ways behind us, wishful thinking right) and was told I was losing my ‘light.’

Round Two
The second go around was basically the same cards (a few inverted-not so good) and as I stared down at the cards the reader turned to me and started the session off by saying ‘snap out of it.’ The rough spell was clearly being displayed.

Last week I had another opportunity for a reading and this time I was ready. It felt like being in Las Vegas, I shuffled he dealt. As the cards got laid out, he let out a breathy laugh as did I when I saw those same damn cards, in different positions and a new addition at the end. The difference this time was four blessed cards. Thank and You.

HIM:Things aren’t working for you exactly the way you want right? What are you doing to make a change?

ME:Lots of things, but they still aren’t happening.

HIM:Are you sure? Look at the smaller things and then look at the bigger picture. Now what do you see?

Here’s a note for anyone heading out to see a tarot reader, psychic or medium. Be specific. More importantly be very specific, include names, dates, colors, sizes……

Tarot reader or life coach?

When he got to the very last card he finally looked up and said thank god. Thank god? Please explain! There is light at the end of this bitchy tunnel! Listening with a grain of salt but inside I was flooding with relief.

Yes there have been hard times(he called these out from reading #1). Yes there have been challenges and conflicts with personal relationships and relationships within (all three readings). But there is something good coming this way that will open the doors (amen brother). I don’t want to read into this or have expectations but it’s hard not to wonder as he has not steered me wrong with the other reads.

For example, some of the things he mentioned (twice) was that he thought it would be beneficial to work for a not-for profit or charitable foundation. I received a phone call and what am I doing this week? Working for a not-for profit foundation.

There are a few other things that I’ll wait to touch on until I feel a tad more comfortable with them. If anything these readings have been a cheap thrill making me very aware of a few things that could have been diverted. That old saying, beware of the blinding eye speaks the truth.

So back to the original question is the third time a charm in any instance,disregarding tarot but life in general? The answer is still up in the air as are all things but for today the sensors are open and we'll see.

Pushing certain loitering feelings aside

Sitting and gabbing with a bunch of women last night made certain feelings creep up the backside of my neck and take residence for a fitful rest and a day for pondering.

I know that deep down, I should not allow personal insecurities to overpower my mind and the way I react emotionally but sometimes it is easy to fall blind to them when they are least expected or are deep rooted with incredible hiding places.

These emotional uncertainties at first appear small but slowly expand and start to dominate all thoughts making it hard to find a positive resource, a resonated exit to which is acknowledged but let go within minutes or even seconds. Any amount of time to ward off the acceptance because it is through the acceptance that feeds the power of it.

For a long time I have created a wall as a form of security and as it turns out, this wall has been my fear blanket and completely negating everything I fight hard to ward out of this life and the way I react. It was a supposed safety net but in actuality, it was damaging my soul and the exuberant light I have. My light was dimming (damn that tarot reading, I am far less skeptical now!!).

Always walking into a situation I keep an open mind, eyes are wide open and I embrace anything that is directed in front, to the side or above and beyond. This wall has blocked my plain of sight, it has shielded my thoughts and kept them in the confines of the blocked off area.

Being with the group and now sitting at home taking this moment for clarity I understand the insecurities and acknowledge that they were fear based. They are not worth dwelling on and it is my choice in how to read the meaning behind them.

For months and probably years I have been slowly getting anxiety about certain aspects of my life and how things are turning out, where things have gone and very easily lost sight of where I am at in that very moment. All of these thoughts were directed inwardly and looked at from a backward position.

Because I get consumed by all of this time in an indeterminate state, I lose sight of everything that has been accomplished and continues to be, the joys that have been experienced and the power of will that it took to get through it all. The happiness of everyday life.

I don’t know where I am going with all of this, I don’t have any profound answers but I do know that living through your heart is much better than living through your fears.

So what does this all mean, I’m old enough to know that self doubting is not worth the frustration and the sleepless nights and that life is precious so why not grab a bull by its horns and run with it?

Figuratively speaking of course! Or not...it could technically be a new man you know! (since we've gotten signed up with the whole online jag)

Anyways, I’m tired and rambling because last night was refreshing and I am eternally thankful that I sat down with that bunch of ladies. All of my crazy antics seem frivolous and are not worth any time expelled on them. Life is too short to walk around with a frown plastered on your face.

So with that, get out and enjoy your day. Smile at someone, kiss your loved ones and laugh a little louder!

Happy Wednesday

Remembering to grab hold of the excitement

There are parts of me that truly believes in the spiritual side of psychic mediums, tarot readers I am a little skeptical of.

Does part of your emotional vibrations pass onto the cards when you shuffle them? Does the tarot reader really see beyond the cards or is it all left for an open interpretation.

A little about the visit, to begin with my friend owns a boutique in town and occasionally has tarot readers or psychics stop by for her clients. The shop has regular store hours but after knowing how she works, the majority is by appointment only so she can devote her time in styling her patrons.

She reads people very well and knows her clientele and as a way of not only promoting her store she brings in outside people. Tarot readers, psychics or even belly dancers for these private appointments. It’s brilliant really and gets the word out on the street or around town that her shop really is all that and a bag of chips.

Going in with an appointment set, I cruised through the racks to see if anything was new before settling down in front of the reader.

Now this is where my skepticism comes into play. I know all of this is in good fun and is to be taken lightly but I still think the universe works in mysterious ways and there is a little room for flux.

I sat down with the reader and started shuffling the cards focusing on a main subject that is riding on my mind right now(relationships) and as the cards started getting placed in front of me the man started giving off little noises like “Hmm” “That’s interesting” “Hmmmmmmm.”

So naturally I am thinking off of the bat, this is great. I’ve chosen the death kill on these cards and life is going to end. Over a stupid card.No, life is not going to end. Stop being over dramatic.

As he was explaining the symbolism behind the cards he stopped at the look of my face. I wasn’t quite buying him up until the middle card. Honestly, I couldn’t tell you the name of the card and I am still really shocked that it bothered me.

Before he stopped, he said that there has been past and inner conflict that has put the fire out within me.

What?

Hearing someone say basically you’ve lost your light is like getting slapped in the face.

I am always optimistic and genuine with people and I am more embarrased in myself because I scoffed at his statement. I fully got on the emotional defense internally and kept telling myself positive reinforcements trying to make sure that his card or reading of the card did not burst some positivity within me.

Then I stopped and really thought about it and rather than ridicule my actions just stopped thinking altogether.

Even if that card was pulled, so what. I can turn that frown upside down and make right within myself. If a light has been dimmed well then I’ll reignite it and get it to burst full of light like the sun.

I walked out of the shop feeling no less different than I did going in. I'm still excited about every single day, still positive and happy to be experiencing anything and everything that is going on around me and simply just being. So the cards I pulled didn’t tell me my future.

If they did, would I really want to know what was going to happen?

So this poses a question, would you want to know your future even if it wasn't grand soirees and white picket fences?