It’s coming, time is not stopping and what has been viewed as the apocalypse for women, atleast this woman is about to happen. Here lies at the end of this month the end of a decade filled with prime experiences and the start to a fresh and new period. [Grab some coffee and pop a xanax because it’s about to get philosophical.]
We’ve been together for a decade now and the time is approaching for us to sever our ties and move on. While we’ve been together for so long it’s going to be a difficult separation because we’ve been through a lot and thought I was comfortable with but realized that I’ve outgrown you and it’s time you live a life without me. You need to let me go.
When we first met we were breaking out of comfort zones trying to find ourselves with friends we thought were there for us but in turn were there for trips to Canada, times spent away from what was important and spent on partying and getting lost in a sea of being numb. You showed me that every day is different from the next and when the sun rises so does our soul and with that got me back on track and back in the right direction. Tossing aside hard parties, bad boys and reeled in history books and college applications for a place that will always be home. A place that you knew was as much a part of me as the hair on my head.
While at university we moved away for the first time and knew we could do it. We could find, have and really know what it meant to experience fun. We met friends that became family and opened new doors to seeing the world through clear eyes. We traveled the world and discovered that life is more than a grey cubicle and can be anything we really and truly want.
The last few years have passed by with the blink of an eye but have been nothing short of noteworthy. We’ve seen births, deaths, engagements and divorces. We’ve had surprises that have turned into letdowns but ultimately they’ve told us everything we need to know, we weren’t ready for what is about to come. Moves have brought us strength, breakups have brought us independence and a search for nothing perfect but something comfortable and fitting.
We’ve accomplished a lot more than what could have been expected and I am thankful for your support but I must leave you now in order to move forward. No I’m not going to start wearing mumus and get gray hairs and if I do I have a colorist who can fix that snarky little problem in no time. It’s time for a change and that time is now. So I’m going to walk away and not look back, because it’s for the best for both of us. I love you and will never forget you. Thank you for all of the memories.
In twenty nine days I will be leaving my twenties behind and heading into the big bright shining star that is the big THREE OH.
Is there anything that I can’t do that hasn’t been done during the past ten years? Apart from getting drunk in school girl uniforms, cage dancing, random encounters with Scottish futbol players, international travel, and a whole lot of moves sandwiched in between? I’d like to think not.
The years have mostly been filled with moments of self discovery and exploring different extremes to see what paths they lead to. They have taken me to such locations I’d never dreamed about had I not dared to believe and trust what could be.
It has been a period for growing up, a phase for maturing. Of course growing up I had created visions of what things would look like, how they could turn and needless to say. Those were only pipe dreams, fun to have in memory but reality hits.
After putting off university because a party personality had taken over and having to explain to patients while checking them in that getting a tongue piercing was ‘the thing to do’ I made the wisest decision of my life. Grow up and get a damn education.
When you catch yourself looking around second guessing if you’re ever going to be something rather than a medical receptionist working 14 hour days it’s time to make a decision. University was just that, I stopped partying. Took out the tongue ring, but got another tattoo to replace it and enrolled in extra classes at the local community college. I tossed out the party girl and never looked back. Which lead to endless opportunities and countless prospects.
In giving thanks, Thank you for the countless times hairstyles and clothes got tossed through the air like candy wrappers. For the cautious reminders that mixed drinks are not a viable option on nights out but shots of tequila will go down like water. For the many men that have come and gone and taught me things that I probably don’t need to know but am certainly glad I do know because there is a reason they’re still not hanging around.
Mostly, thank you for the 3,652 days that have been filled with ups and down, sunshine and snow and experiences that I would never trade nor regret for this lifetime or the next.
It has taken twenty nine years and 336 days to finally get over the anxiety when that should have been replaced with a little excitement or at least eased with some expensive champagne. I can’t help but think that turning 30 is basically like turning twenty all over again. It’s a new time only this time I’m looking at this through clearer eyes that are steady and unafraid. There’s more anticipation to see what can happen and how I can make it happen.
Birthdays have never been a big deal and I don’t plan to change that up this year, but I will go into this new period without any expectations. Without creating an elaborate vision of what could be and just experience it for what it is and keep doing things that bring a smile to the face. I’m opening my mind and heart to this new time and think it couldn’t have been a better time to turn into this new age.