Let there be no bias statements here.
Almost two weeks has passed and in that time I've been able to sit back, evaluate and see a different side of things that had been blocked mentally and possibly purposefully.
At the thanks to a friend who hosted a successful fashion supporting for the Northern Illlinois Food Bank last week am I able to don a new do. For this particular event, donations were raised to feed the hungry and three women were chosen to feed their sense of style.
Well two women, as I was a shoe in as a personal gift from a friend.
As mentioned before I was highly critical of taking part but eventually understood the two roots for this little makeover. My friend needed help, and I fell into the age demographic that she needed to fill. A transformation has been evolving both inside and out, physically and emotionally and has been witnessed unbeknownst to myself but very much through the eyes of many around.
Its interesting that while we are going through hard times and dark hours, feeling like a debbie downer or just wanting to say the hell with it all, that is when we let go.
Of our rigid habits and daily routines
Passion and excitement lights are extinguished
We fall and are afraid to get back up in a quiet fashion
I had given up on so much at the helm of my own constant rattling of confused and cluttered thoughts. Preconceived notions that made me feel far less inclined to function on a rational scale but rather lay in a bath trying to cleanse the dirty thoughts down the drain. Positive banter became my enemy and lethargy a scornful force, the glint of laughter diminished from my eyes and just as that driving force hit almost rock bottom something happened. A flipping of a switch or slap of a snare drum?
This did not happen, pulling the pieces back together quietly. The urge to get back up and not reclaim but engage and open oneself to something anew exploded like a god damn atom bomb.
Its amazing, exciting, terrifying and all happening at the speed of light.
A job came through in the most unexpected of ways ceasing all worries making it very clear that the time spent prior to working was necessary to the development of this day. Through chance encounters formed and keep forming lifelong bonds that have lifted spirits by leaps and bounds and provided a support like never before...and a whole new look that isn't new it is just right, defining the good things that keep finding their way on this journey to whatever this day is to bring or be open to.
In no way is this a statement for taking a moment for self pity. Shit happens and are far worse for others, this particular stretch was purely a learning curve and a period of time to define strength, will and perseverance for a greater good and whatever that may bring. For change and awareness. For acceptance of the help of others and the never exiting round of gratitude that is part of my DNA,
A huge part of me feels extremely selfish for all that is taking place and taking a few short breaths to believe and have faith in a greater me whether it be reflected out from an inner sense of being, but at the same time I want to be as receptive as possible because if anyone else were near and in the same place of needing support or a lending hand for anything to help reignite that missing glint I would be the first to step up and pay it forward.
Because it is ultimately the right thing to do, and is the only thing to do.
So the real question remains, do blondes have more fun than brunettes? Who cares, everybody is equal to the amount of fun and opportunity so long as you want it. So long as you accept it and add to it in your own individual way.
With that, I leave for work this morning [the glint sparkling brilliantly] with a photo of this transformation that began two years ago with a rash decision to move to San Francisco (platinum blonde hair in tow)which eventually led to Chicago, a place that has not only fed and continues to nourish my soul but has fed my fashion.