For the past month I have been going very slow with a new man and I cannot even stress how difficult this is. The track record is spotty so slow is a must. We started through emails with small banter that transitioned into exchanging telephone numbers. Just as the snowstorm hit, he started to send funny little text messages and we went back and forth with little laughs here and there. Nothing serious, nothing overly long and drawn out. I figured he was nervous about making a phone call and I certainly was not going to initiate. He sought me out.
He called and we talked for ages. He was funny, cute, we talked about everything and the conversation was comfortable for the most part. Afterward he sent a follow up text later that same evening and then again a couple of days later. I know with Valentine’s Day it is bound to make many men skittish and I added this into account as for the timing of beginning to talking on the phone.
It had been a week and nothing. No phones, no texts, no messages. Strange really because we talked daily, several times per day and to go from that to nothing caused a little unease to creep up and self doubt to take up residence yet again for a brief moment.
I tried not to be over-analytical. Kept busy by going out with friends, volunteering, but of course by the end of the night my eyes are checking out the phone. Looking to see if the red light is blinking indicating a new message or missed call.
By the end of a week of hearing nothing it made me consider my actions and I turned to my ‘consultants’ for some advice. My sister and brother in law have kept me grounded as far as men are concerned and stood by watching the wild boyfriend rollercoaster that I have been operating. They are the people that when you turn away from a disappearing act will tell you the exact moves that got you there and how to snap back into shape to avoid that business in the future.
Bless it because it’s good but it’s a real pain in the neck. Finally getting through our little video conferencing session I walked away with this.
Never put all eggs into one basket (common sense but sometimes we are blind)
Texting is lazy and this guy is probably shy. He wouldn’t have called and spoken for a length of time if he wasn’t interested and then text back later that same night. Consultant number 2 (brother in law)agreed on sending an email, not a text or a phone call after Valentine’s Day to say hi and see how he is. To quote him:“Valentine’s Day is intimidating ‘diki’ put yourself out there one more time and then wash your hands clean if he opts out.”
So this is what I did. I sent him a note and a day later received a text message that was a catch up of sorts. He had been texting but wasn't sure if I had been receiving any messages.
Positive: he responded. Interesting part and the part I don't understand. Though we are living in a very fast paced time why should it be so difficult to pick up a telephone if you don’t think messages are going through? Clearly I will answer but now I am reconsidering. I text him back something brief but said I was out with friends which was true and if he could call later. Receiving nothing back.
Whether or not our conversations were to ever lead into anything apart from what it is at now, time will only tell but this much I do know. Texting is an easy cop out. It takes more time to text message someone than it does to pick up a phone and say hello.
Yes I agree that it’s nice to see a little light flashing on my phone with a fun message but because this is so new in terms of talking to a new man I’d much rather have face to face contact that communicating through so many characters on an electronic device. Seems fair and reasonable.
Is this demanding? Does this make me a mega wattage high maintenance bitch. Absolutely not. It’s simple. Maybe this man is shy, maybe he’s taking it slower as well. For this I’ll go at his pace but am in no way shutting out the idea of meeting other new people. We're only 'talking.'
This is just a bump in the road and another check mark to be that much more aware of because I stopped that little piece of me for a week and was filled with a dip in doubt, but no more!
I’m purely a simple woman on a mission to living life with the heart on her sleeve and the happiness in her eyes.