Wednesday, March 16, 2011

You’ve got mail, more like spam mail

Oh the sweet sound of a ding, the flashing light on our phone or a pop-up reminder on the screen indicating a new message. Junk mail or not, three little itty bitty words that change everything for that minute. You’ve got mail.

It’s like watching for the mail to be delivered on a sunny afternoon. The truck pulls up and you wait anxiously to see what’s in the inbox. Postcards, letters or this week’s wheels and deals over at the quick-o-mart.

{Courtesy of Chain Mail Explosion}

....junk mail

Are you retired? Do you know someone who is retired, or even better-recently retired?

(Wistful note)Wouldn’t it be a lovely day in the neighborhood to be retired by the tender age of (insert age here) spending days shopping, lounging poolside, ordering your significant other around the house, children able to make decisions on their own despite their age, requesting Guisseppe to clean the pool and refill your margarita fishbowl? Bliss, but then again I would want my significant other and kiddos poolside sipping slushees splashing Guisseppe.

For years, I don’t think I ever received emails from my Mom that were forwards, I take that back. FWD:Travel itineraries, that is all. She would always laugh if we talked about an email we sent her (FWD or not), she deleted them all.

Fond memories of standing at the airport waiting for a ride after flying back home from university (This is before cell phones were joined at the hip). Waiting and no ride, finally after an hour of wasted quarters the truth came out. “What email?”

The woman retired a mere 7 months ago and she’s sending out emails faster than Victoria’s Secret sends out sale notifications.

Morning, noon and night they are pouring through and each time all I can do is laugh. This woman who once lived on her blackberry and still can’t send a package through the postal service if her life depended on it. And yet she can forward.

{Courtesy of Google}

Shame, shame. A woman selling margaritas on a beach out of her bikini cups and raking in the dough? Hilariously crude but still getting censored, at least for this posting, or did you get it last week!?!

Does this not make you wonder if you can add a ‘Spam’ filter on your email provider for ridiculously long, picture only, chain mailing messages that could make someone laugh out loud or desperately itch to hit the delete button?

On a completely side note; lol, omg, hahaha coming from your mom via text is really weird. At least from my mom, but I loves this more than butta on a biscuit.

Spam mail or not, getting some of these emails, yeah they may clutter your inbox for a day or fill it up overnight, either way they’re still stupid and funny.

They’re still getting mentioned at lunch or dinner parties.

And they’re still going to get forwarded two years from now as a repeat offender.

{Courtesy of Google}

How many FWDs did you wake up to this morning?


  1. Hahah, my mom is getting ready to retire either this year or the next. I get a few of these every week, but I can't even imagine then. Tell her to go shopping and lounge by the pool more rather than sit in front of the computer. That is her daughter's job :) lol. I don't know if I could handle an omg text from my mom though, hahah. Too funny.

  2. Even when my Mom was alive, technology wasn't something that was a part of her life. She even refused to use a microwave oven, "too many buttons and beeps" as she always complained.

    But, oh those FWD's...I'm inundated with them, daily! Drives me insane when I get messages that are the usual internet hoaxes.."Cell phone numbers are being made public", etc.

    Delete, delete, delete!

    This was definitely a chuckle-post...loved it!

  3. FWDs have really dropped off for me lately but my mom is great at trying to sound cool and messing it up. For example: I'm bad (for my bad) and calling Jack Johnson Joe Jackson. Love her but she makes me laugh :)

  4. @Texa:ooooooh, get ready because it's a comin'! the first time she sent an OMG it was spelled oh oh em gee, I laughed so hard and had to call my sister. What a goof! I've told her to go out and find some man candy with all this bundled time but that goes nowhere :)

    @Patty:Ak, your mom with the micro sounds like my mom and the post office! Good god ladies! Gotta love cheesy laughs.

    @KT:Hahaha, that is hilarious! Atleast she knows...kind of...who is be young at heart right? let's just hope we don't sound like that with our own kids!

  5. Hi this is Nicole from Colie’s Kitchen I just discovered your blog and wanted to drop by and say hi. I am now a new follower. I would love to have you stop by Colie’s Kitchen if you get a chance.

  6. @Colie:Yummo, I'm so happy you stopped over! I'm following your recipes :)

  7. Oh man.... I get these like crazy thru text messages. Especially from my boyfriends family. They don't have e-mail so all these goes to my phone. Talk about annoying when they split it up between 2-8 text messages so you receive one part at a time.

    I've got a trick to the e-mail spam though. I have an e-mail I use for personal friends and the spam junk and one I use for bills and important stuff so I never miss what is important and what's just junk.